Sunday, July 29, 2007

It's Never to Late For Underwear

Sure, The Fiasco starts in 4 hours. How much notice do you need to take your clothes off.

Tonight is the Short Notice Pool Party of Uncertainty. Wear your undies or trunks and bring your bicycle. We'll probably do much more riding than swimming.

11:00pm sharp, Turtle Park.


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Your Parents House

Well, we've exhausted all the other options. Its time for you to ask your parents if you can invite 100 underwear clad bike riders over to their swimming pool this Sunday night sometime after midnight.

Seriously, if your parents have a swimming pool ask them. I asked my parents and they told me that we didn't have a swimming pool. Then I asked them to build a swimming pool just for the event but they thought it would be too expensive. Also, don't be afraid to ask your parents friends if we can swim at their pool. I promise that everyone will be on their best behavior.


Everyone I have talked to about Steven Barney Wilkes' Most Illogical Alley Cat Race, said it was a king bitch good time. I've seen the spoke cards and race materials and let me tell you, the Alley Cat set a new record for best production value and organization on an FBC event. Congratulations to Christopher Connolley for winning the race and to Casey Saunders for getting dead fucking last.

I hope that everyone follows in the footsteps of Steven and Jim Utz and takes it upon themselves to put on their own kick ass FBC event. If anyone is interested in getting something started, I am happy to give out the password for this website so you can make your voice heard in the cavernous expanses of the internet.


FBC legend Jeff Everett and his wife recently moved to Spokane Washington. The have already started a Spokane Chapter of FBC and an FBC Spokane blog. Check it out here,

Jeff predicts a turn out of two (2) riders for the Fiasco on Sunday, him and his wife. I wonder if they will be riding in their underwear.

If you have any leads on a swimming pool please let me know.


Monday, July 09, 2007

Our First Alley Cat

Stephen Barney has taken the reigns and organized an Alley Cat Race for all you sinners. Here is proof.

The flyer doesn't lie. The race is going to be Sunday July 22nd at 4pm starting at Turtle Park. If you are interested in racing, show up. If you are interested in being a race official let Stephen know by posting a comment and leaving your contact info.


Thursday, July 05, 2007

Daylight Again.

After having more than a couple days to reflect on it, I still have pretty much no idea what happened last Saturday night.

There are a couple of things that I do know for sure:

Some sort of low-rent super hero surfaced from his parents basement with a reflective vest and flashlight. He flagrantly disrupted traffic and pissed off motorists in the name of safety.

We took a tour of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr BLVD. The first part of the tour was guided by a 6 car Wellston Police escort. John P. gave one of the officers a spoke card to either hang up back at the station or put in the spokes of one of Wellston's Motorcycle units.

An unknown passerby threw a chunk of concrete at Deebo, who was riding my Mom's 1980's Schwinn High Sierra. Luckily both Deebo and my Mom's ride escaped unharmed.

Two FBCers on a tandem bike broke their rear axle on the ride. A group of us took turns pushing them to their apartment downtown. At one point we were pushing them so recklessly I almost wished that Captain Safety was nearby to reprimand us.

As we neared our destination our huge group splintered into dozens of smaller groups. At one point I was riding down Lenore K. Sullivan by myself when some jackass in a car full jackasses hit me with a big gulp that he threw out the window. I caught up with them just as they were forced to stopped by the group of 100 drunken bike riders blocking the rode. I bounced a beer can off the car, flipped them the bird and felt totally vindicated.

The cops had already broken up the party by the time we got there. As everyone knows, after reaching the final destination any shred of organization goes flying out the window like a half full Big Gulp. Shannon offered to move the party to CAMP as long as we could find someplace to kill about 45 minutes. Some of us went to Shady Jacks some of us went to Maurizzios, some of us went home. I went to Shady Jacks. When we got there the garage door was drawn and it seemed to be closed. I found a key hole, placed my mouth firmly against it, identified ourselves as The Fucking Bike Club and asked Jack to open up. The garage door came up and brought our spirits right along with it.

Finally, 3:00 rolled around and Jack had no option but to close his doors. Our group made our way over to CAMP to practice for next months Underwear Pool Party of Destiny with a monumental all night underwear dance party. My mind may be playing tricks on me, but I think I recall Captain Safety sitting in chair in the corner of the dance floor using his front bike light as a strobe light and keeping vigil over the dance floor. We danced until 7:15am. I took over 200 photos. These are the ones I feel ok about posting on the internet.


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