Another Thing We Did
If you've never spent a cold Sunday afternoon with 25 of your friends riding ten speeds around my parents neighborhood and shooting BB guns at water balloons hanging from strings, you should. That's what the FBC did on January 4th 2009. We called it the FBC Winter Biathlon.
In all, 24 Lifetime Members for Life in The Fucking Bike Club tested their lungs and their trigger fingers on a private drive in Ladue. We broke the field down into heats of three. In each heat, the racers did three laps of the neighborhood, after each lap they had to run down my parents driveway and attempt to shoot a water balloon hanging from a string in the backyard from a shooting station on the patio. If they hit the balloon the racer could then run back to their bike and do another lap. The person to do three laps and pop three water balloons in the shortest amount of time was the winner.
That person was me. But in the interest of full disclosure, I also designed the race, live on the race course and tested the BB guns. So maybe there should be and asterisks by name in the official results. At least I didn't give myself a prize. (My little brother gave it to me. And it was one of my beer coozies that he spray painted gold and presented to me).
As we all know, worrying about who won and lost FBC related races is only useful if you are studying for an upcoming FBC trivia night. The important thing is that everybody had fun. I'm pretty sure they did. I know that they ate all the chili.
Here are the results complete with asterisks.
1st: Lee* 7:18
2nd: Cole 7:42
3rd: Brian 7:56
4th: Lirch 8:03
5th: Marty 8:09
6th: Francis 8:12
7th: Lucky 8:16
8th: John P. 8:25
9th: Blake 8:33
10th: Dante 8:33
11th: Frye 8:34
12th: Natalie 8:52
13th: Young Sam 8:58
14th: Double K 9:02
15th: Manfred 9:27
16th: Andy (Butch) 9:35
17th: Monica 9:45
18th: Mark (Dad)9:46
19th: Charlie 9:54
20th: Seth 9:58
21st: Matt D 10:13
22nd: Trent 10:32
23rd: Karl 10:56
24th: Zeke 10:57
-Lee
In all, 24 Lifetime Members for Life in The Fucking Bike Club tested their lungs and their trigger fingers on a private drive in Ladue. We broke the field down into heats of three. In each heat, the racers did three laps of the neighborhood, after each lap they had to run down my parents driveway and attempt to shoot a water balloon hanging from a string in the backyard from a shooting station on the patio. If they hit the balloon the racer could then run back to their bike and do another lap. The person to do three laps and pop three water balloons in the shortest amount of time was the winner.
That person was me. But in the interest of full disclosure, I also designed the race, live on the race course and tested the BB guns. So maybe there should be and asterisks by name in the official results. At least I didn't give myself a prize. (My little brother gave it to me. And it was one of my beer coozies that he spray painted gold and presented to me).
As we all know, worrying about who won and lost FBC related races is only useful if you are studying for an upcoming FBC trivia night. The important thing is that everybody had fun. I'm pretty sure they did. I know that they ate all the chili.
Here are the results complete with asterisks.
1st: Lee* 7:18
2nd: Cole 7:42
3rd: Brian 7:56
4th: Lirch 8:03
5th: Marty 8:09
6th: Francis 8:12
7th: Lucky 8:16
8th: John P. 8:25
9th: Blake 8:33
10th: Dante 8:33
11th: Frye 8:34
12th: Natalie 8:52
13th: Young Sam 8:58
14th: Double K 9:02
15th: Manfred 9:27
16th: Andy (Butch) 9:35
17th: Monica 9:45
18th: Mark (Dad)9:46
19th: Charlie 9:54
20th: Seth 9:58
21st: Matt D 10:13
22nd: Trent 10:32
23rd: Karl 10:56
24th: Zeke 10:57
-Lee
posted by mr. awesome at 2:54 PM
7 Comments:
That's very gentlemanly of you; but we all had a chance to test each rifle, and I somehow doubt that you start every day with three laps around your neighborhood, always trying to improve your time.
I got thwarted in my dance party attempts on New Years Eve, and I still haven't gotten it out of my system...so I'm really, really hoping that there's an epic, cold dance party planned for the very near future, especially since I missed this mayhem with guns and water balloons!
i didn't eat chili, and carl said it was a triathlon. i still had fun.
You guys have more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
............all I can say is, you Fing FBC hipsters would live in Ladue.
Well, Cole and I do for sure. As for the rest of us FBC hipsters, I couldn't tell you.
Where do your parents live agressive anonymous commenter?
-Lee
Why do you want to know where my parents live? So you can attempt to call me ignorant because I like you had a privileged upbringing? I will agree to partake in your game Sir Lee, my parents reside in Maplewood. They have lived in Maplewood for over twenty years, long before the realitively recent urban renewal.
I am sorry for my sudden outburst it will not happen again. I wish your clan of beer drinking fixed gear and hybrid riding revelers well, on your ironic urban PBR powered adventures.
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