Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Widest Bike Path In America

Thank you to Missouri Department of Transportation, The Farmers Almanac and The Earth's Moon for allowing The Fucking Bike Club to realize a dream. The idea for a "40's on 40" Fiasco has been bouncing around The Fucking Bike Club for years. Whether or not it was going to happen was basically out of our greasy hands. But thankfully on Friday December 12th, 2008 everything came together under the brightest full moon in decades and an FBC dream was realized. Another Festivus Miracle!

Cynics among you may be saying, "40's on 40? What the hell is this guy talking about? I wasn't drinking a 40."

True enough you cynical bastard. But a few of us were. The original idea for the ride was to make our first stop at a liquor store in the county and get OE's, Mickey's, Colts's and Hurricane's. But then we looked into it. Every Liquor store between Turtle Park and Brentwood that sells 40's closes before 11pm. So then we thought about buying a bunch of cases of 40's and handing them out at the steep mulch covered entrance ramp to the new highway 40. The more we thought about that the more clearly we envisioned a scene of half full forty bottle raining through a sky painted by red and blue flashing lights and splashing down in puddles of broken glass in the cold Frontenac night. For that reason I didn't spend Friday afternoon buying cases of malt liquor, instead I spent it making little laminated 40oz-ers for your spokes.

For anyone who thinks Full Moon Fiasco 45 didn't earn the subtitle "40's on 40", might I suggest either "Party on Farty" or "The Widest Bike Path in America."

Whatever you decide to call it, I hope you had fun. I know that I'll remember riding my bike the wrong way down an empty interstate highway under a cartoonishly gigantic full moon for a long time to come. Not to mention partying on the highway at 40 and ballas, our cordial and mature interactions with representatives of several St. Louis County Police departments, the nice young gentleman at Schnucks who let us skip them in line to beat the 1:30 beer deadline, The strange dudes at the bonfire (Vinnie, I'm looking at you.), and the unbelievably nice (seriously) members of the Maplewood Fire Department. And Vinnie, next time you get cold at a giant bonfire, remember that laying in the fire doesn't so much warm you up as burn your clothes off.
-Lee








And much better photos here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/dgtized/sets/72157611146127047/

9 Comments:

Anonymous Lirch said...

Thank you FBC. I will always remember this night.

December 16, 2008 2:10 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

It was a great ride.

December 17, 2008 9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Lee, great synopsis. However, the real gratitude goes to the St. Louis City Fire Department. They were able to extinguish the flames and respond to any and all questions that were drunkenly presented.

December 17, 2008 2:02 PM  
Blogger roseblablabland said...

i need to stop going out of town on full moons

December 17, 2008 4:49 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

http://www.nbcwashington.com/around_town/nightlife/Say-Goodbye-to-Sparks.html

there is no god.

December 19, 2008 9:40 AM  
Blogger Ryan Damage said...

I guess someone else logged into their account on my laptop, because I posted that link above. oh well.

December 19, 2008 2:13 PM  
Blogger Mickey said...

Very well written. I wish I would have been there. One day!

December 20, 2008 6:21 PM  
Blogger Mickey said...

Oh, and my vote goes for Party on Farty!

December 20, 2008 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

truely a sad scene re: sparks...next they'll try and take away my bike.

December 22, 2008 9:03 PM  

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