Friday, September 04, 2009


Friday, September 4th 2009. Its Full Moon Fiasco #54. Meet at Turtle Park around 10:30pm. The ride leaves at 11:00 sharp. Bring a Passport, we are leaving the state. Also, bring cash our destination does not take plastic.


Anonymous *insert name here* said...

Crossing boarders and breaking down barriers.

September 04, 2009 8:20 AM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

east side!!!!!!

September 04, 2009 9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Passport? Are we going to Blackland? That's hot.

September 04, 2009 12:32 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Fast Eddies?

September 04, 2009 7:04 PM  
Anonymous Tim said...

Fast Eddies is quite far. I wouldn't be opposed to going, but it's safe to say that 2/3 of the normal FBC wouldn't make it to Alton.

September 04, 2009 7:08 PM  
Anonymous The 2/3 of the fbc who can ride just as far as tim said...

Wow tim, big words. You better be ready to rumble with 2/3 of the riders tonight

September 04, 2009 7:17 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Sauget then, eh? We're not going to the den of despisable hard rock acts and desperate drunk denizens known as POPs, are we?

September 04, 2009 7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes!! I love POP'S. The hottest girls go there. You know girls will take it in the chute if they are hanging at POP'S. Girls with gaps in their teeth, a.k.a. missing, give the best head, hands down.

September 04, 2009 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

Fantastic fiasco.

September 05, 2009 2:24 AM  
Anonymous andrew said...



September 05, 2009 11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a night of unabated lameness.

September 05, 2009 12:03 PM  
Anonymous mom said...

You don't have to be a jerk to others just because you are too cool to have fun.

September 05, 2009 12:05 PM  
Anonymous Dad said...

We get to fuck all of the new FBC riders?

September 05, 2009 1:30 PM  
Anonymous andrew said...

so what if am being a jerk to you.
i am sure there are people who like you. i do not like a lot of you.

call your mom back home, i'm sure she can still tolerate your dumbass.

there are a ton of you who can't seem to get it together.

the incessant questions, and not to mention all the cellphone calls to your idiot friends with no sense of direction.

most of you new riders don't just suck at riding bicycles, you suck at being humans.


September 05, 2009 2:39 PM  
Anonymous mom said...

First off don't help people if you are just going to bitch about it. Ride your angry LITTLE self on by.
Secondly its not called Andrews Bike club. Take care of yourself leave everyone else alone. So what if people are not great bike riders, they are not claiming to be. Everyone else seems to be having fun so maybe you should start your own club, you are obviously too cool for this one.

September 05, 2009 4:53 PM  
Anonymous Jack said...

Wow! We get it Andrew- you are way cooler then the rest of us.
Some may suck at bike riding but you suck at life.

September 05, 2009 5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets remeber that the fbc is something that is not to be taken forgranted, it is something that could be gone at anytime. The bike club has been a great time for the last 3 years, recently it seems as the attitudes of the new riders have changed. It seems like people used to hear about a semi secret bike club that traveled the moonlight city. And now people might be hearing that theres a traviling beer party that takes you somewhere far from your dorm room once a month.
I guess i'm just trying to say we can always take it back down to twenty people.. do it word of mouth drop the blog.. scary?

September 05, 2009 5:31 PM  
Anonymous andrew said...

i don't stink at life, and i am much cooler than a lot of you.

i have fun on these rides, but my god, if 80 or 90 of you decided to not show up next month jesus would be very happy.

September 05, 2009 6:56 PM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

if you dont like FBC, why do you continue to go on the rides and then five minutes after it is over...start bitching about how lame it was. nobody is making you go so and i have prepared some options for you.
1. stay home.
2. go watch the gateway cup.
3.go to fast eddies, drink stag all night and smell your own farts.
4. kick yourself in the teeth.
5. go for a bikeride...somewhere else.

September 05, 2009 7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is really no question about it - the FBC has "jumped the shark." The shit is dead guys, it's time to give up the ghost. This was my first ride in nearly two years, and I saw that practically none of the "regulars" even bother coming any more. Not at all surprising seeing as how this has become the Fratboy Bike Club.

September 05, 2009 9:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blasphemy! But alas, twould be better if the assholes stopped showing up. I gotta good feeling that when the rides start to get colder and occur on a week-night, the asshole count will drop dramatically.

For true though, I've been a fortunate LMFL for two years and it seems like too many people worry about others and forget about HAVING FUN! I've seen a bout of assholeish behavior now and then, but for the love of bikes people, just go out and have fun! Take the high round, be patient, blah blah...see yall next ride.

The FBC lives on, through the thick and thin.

September 05, 2009 9:22 PM  
Anonymous Jesus said...

I love everyone that attends FBC rides. Everyone except Andrew.

September 05, 2009 11:59 PM  
Blogger k said...

friday was my first chance to ride with the fbc and overall i had a great time. i'm not very impressed with bar hopping as a primary motivation for the ride but that's just my broke ass perspective. what happened to destination east side? and thanks to the dudes at the cemetery for the hospitality. flame on narcissists.

September 06, 2009 12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, the comments are starting to feel like the mood of the country in the Media. "We have met the enemy, and he is us" (paraphrasing POGO)

September 06, 2009 7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that topher dude is a CREEP!


September 06, 2009 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This fiasco was my first ride with the FBC. My initial reaction was to the effect that the night was filled with unabated lameness. I still feel that way, and am not considering another ride. As a newcomer, I'd like to expand upon my first impression of the FBC to help solve the identity crisis that is seemingly in the club's midst.

The night appears to be full of inexperienced riders who make the overall ride dangerous not only for themselves, but everyone else on the road (cyclists and motorists). Personally, I am pretty fond of beer; even enjoy a couple beers after a good, long ride. But, what is apparent about the majority of people doing this ride is that beer and partying is the focus; not the ride itself. It seems as though clever alcohol delivery methods are rewarded much more greatly than being courteous, safe and having any sort of cycling etiquette.
So, when asked if I will be joining the FBC on their next ride, my response is, "No." It just wasn't what I was looking for. Maybe I "just don't know how to have fun," but I really just wanted to ride by bike and meet some bike-minded people in the meantime. After all, I already know all the beer-minded assholes I care to.

September 06, 2009 10:28 AM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

that you t-rent? i want to shake yer hand.

September 06, 2009 11:58 AM  
Blogger mesmertron said...

I propose the new and improved Heavy Petting Bike Club to be instated. Invite only and must have built your bike from scratch. The FBC will henceforth be known as the Date Rape Bike Club wherein you shall be indoctrinated by a thorough butt coring by any existing member of the FBC with a tattoo stating their lifelong membership. Looking at you LRB.

September 06, 2009 3:49 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

The days following a Fiasco always seem to bring the same smattering of comments about how FBC is an unsafe gathering of assholes. I attend FBC rides. I am not an asshole. The friends that I hang out with on FBC rides are not assholes. But I find the generalizations about FBC attendees entertaining.

Anytime 300+ people gather anywhere, it’s a given that there are going to be a couple assholes in attendance. Are people seriously condemning the entire FBC because a handful of people are unsafe jerks? I don’t like to be around douchebags anymore than the next guy. Luckily, every Fiasco, there are nice people worth meeting and cultivating friendships with. But I guess it’s just easier to ignore these nice people, only point out the jerks, and sit behind a keyboard bitching about the club.

If you are looking to ride with someone that isn’t a dick, find me. My bike is baby blue. I ride safely. I throw my trash away. I am happy to help fellow riders fix flats. I warn the riders around me about debris in the road. I ride with a friendly disposition. I do these things because that is how the leaders of the FBC want me to act on Full Moon Fiascos.

Not everyone is going to stick to one lane, pick up their trash, ride sober, and be considerate of others. But instead of refusing to participate, why not lead by example?

September 06, 2009 7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said Ben!! My thoughts exactly!!

September 06, 2009 8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ben is obviously gay.

September 06, 2009 10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The problem is that 300+ people were there in the first place. It has nothing to do with assholes, there are just too many people for it to be any fun.

September 06, 2009 11:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, it's just like when music starts to get popular. since a lot of people like it, it isn't good any more...

bikes+late night+stl=awesome. no matter how many people join in.

September 06, 2009 11:28 PM  
Anonymous Your Name said...

Ben and Anonymous are two of the many reasons why the FBC is awesome. Ben's comment might be one of the most accurate and important statements ever typed onto this blog, no the internet...couldn't have said it better myself. Anonymous, nice music comment.

The thought that it can't be fun b/c there are 300+ people is redickerous...I have had fun on not one ride, but every ride. If you are incapable of having fun on a fiasco...well, maybe FBC isn't for you.

Have fun everybody.

September 07, 2009 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Cycling safely, not littering and overall being a good guy are all things that I do normally. As I said, I wanted to meet some like-minded people on this ride; not baby-sit a bunch of drunks. If the more experienced FBC riders have a pick-up ride without all of the bullshit, I'd be happy to tag along. I just didn't find what I was looking for in the ride last Friday, and don't really plan on being involved with the FBC as experienced.

Take my comments with a grain of salt; neither they nor my participation are going to make or break this ride. I saw a few good riders that knew what they were doing, but in weighing the good vs bad points of the ride, you and the 50 other good riders were outdone by the sheer jackassery of the other 250 morons.

It begs the question: Are the good FBC riders then guilty of being jackasses by association?

I don't really want to find out.

September 08, 2009 11:39 AM  
Blogger Eugene said...

Does anyone have pictures from the amazing that was Tequila Wyld? If so, please post links. Cream on the inside, clean on the outside.

September 08, 2009 12:12 PM  
Anonymous Alex said...

last friday was my first FBC, and i enjoyed it. Lets keep this club about fun and biking! Leave the negativity at home! I saw many people taking pictures... of me... I would also like to see some if anyone has them

September 08, 2009 4:49 PM  
Anonymous ain't no future in yo' frontin' said...

not until friday had i ever seen so many jerks impede a good time by over thinking a bike ride.

i have been a LMFL for many years now, and most of us ride our bikes everyday, and not once a month.
we love bikes, and bike things.

if you have not yet figured out the FBC has always been about skids, wheelies, good conversation, jokes, nudity, and even beer.
fun, as many of you dickheads have been debating here, is merely a symptom of the aforementioned activities.
can you dig it jerks?

ultimately, the FBC is about riding a bike for the sake of riding a bike, and you can't experience that fun if you don't really like riding your fucking bike.

get off your cellphones kids, and just ride.

leave your agoraphobic girlfriend or boyfriend at home, and stop worrying about where the fuck we are going.
we may or may not end up somewhere hip, safe, or cool.

September 08, 2009 7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what he said....

September 08, 2009 7:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, it really was apparent that there are only like 5 people on the FBC ride that ride every day. the others probably hopped off their vespas or their fat girlfriends long enough to hook up with the ride to knock a few people down, yell at cars and piss on some graves.

September 08, 2009 10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you need to keep the start point of the ride a bit more of a secret, switch the start point each month and let people know at the last minute where the meeting place is. Because if you keep having it at the same time and place every month then the number of assholes will keep growing and eventually we are going to attract the attention of the local constabulary. A person on a bicycle might not be able to be charged with DWI but they can be charged with public drunkenness. If the police are mad enough and they find one drunk teenager in the group then they can charge people with contributing. I want to see the group grow but I don't want it to turn into the fratboy bicycle club.

September 08, 2009 11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ready for this - its the problem solver you've all been looking for - ride your bike if you want and don't if you don't.

42 comments now on retarded bullshit whiney bitches

September 09, 2009 6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Told you this would be amateur night. And you thought that meant 18 yr old girls dancing for cash for the first time. Well buddy that kind of amateur happens on Wednesday nights. On Friday nights small penises drink beer and try to start problems because they know there mommies are not going to make them get up and go to school on Saturday morning.

September 09, 2009 6:56 AM  
Anonymous guy who doesnt attend much these days said...

wow... i haven't been on a ride in a quite a while but it's kinda sad to see it go down this route. even if the ride's don't suck or do, to know people of this caliber are in attendance is fairly disheartening.

the size of the group and some of the chosen activities (incessant bar hopping) are a big reason why i don't go these days... BUT, what i don't do is force myself into going, hating it the whole time, and then wasting mine and everybody else's time coming here to bitch and moan about it. that isn't going to solve anything and it's just going to annoy the people who do try to have fun on the rides, who do take the time out of their own day to organize a good time for everyone who goes (whether they loathe it or not), and who do respect other riders and try to be good people.

if the douchebags suck, fuck 'em. try to be nice and put them in line. if they don't want to listen, call 'em out in front of everyone and deal with them as a group. majority rules in the FBC. and if you have all these better ideas and plans for the FBC (which you obviously all do or you wouldn't be here complaining, right? you're not just being useless, spoiled princesses, right?), talk to the right people and help make it better. anonymous bitch baby fests won't get you anywhere but 40 some odd comments on a blog and another ride in the future that you're disappointed with.

September 09, 2009 7:54 AM  
Anonymous lester bowie said...

i thought this was a forum for comments, complaints, and shit talk?

September 09, 2009 8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MC Breed is right.

"leave your agoraphobic girlfriend or boyfriend at home, and stop worrying about where the fuck we are going.
we may or may not end up somewhere hip, safe, or cool."

that clearly sums it up.

September 09, 2009 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm new to the FBC. And I thought it was an open invitation to anyone who enjoys bike riding.

When I first heard about where the FBC goes bar hopping biking to each place, I then knew that this was more of a bunch of people going out to have fun, not really caring about safety. However, I'm sure there is both like minded people in the bunch.

It would be nice if the FBC could provide maps on their site for those who do not know the city very well and after traveling a great distance and deciding that the destination isn't that great or fun, so we can just leave. And I understand that we can buy our own maps, it would just be courteous.

The last fiasco was really slow due to the mass amount of people. There are ways to fix that. I originally thought FBC was a once-a-month tour of the city under the moon. A pack of knight riders, saving gas and growing in numbers. A team of travelers.

If the rides turned into 'just rides' it's possible that the numbers may grow. If the rides continue on nightly rounds of bars, you'll most likely have more jerks and the other true bikers may leave. However, I think a lot of the true bikers enjoy seeing how fun the FBC can be with the pictures provided on your blogspot.

I am concerned of the safety after the night clubs or if bikers leave alone at night not caring for the destination. Or uneasy about making friends in the FBC, especially now after reading about date rape in the comments.

I will continue to ride with the FBC, untill it becomes something I do not want to represent.

September 09, 2009 9:27 AM  
Anonymous Diggity said...

Oh boy. To the comments preceding the last comment. True words, my bretheren. To the guy above me, you don't seem like an asshole, so I won't treat you like one. But I feel like you, as a first timer, don't really understand the FBC. Some key points.

1) The FBC IS open to anyone who enjoys biking AND isn't an asshole. Two key rules from the foundation that should still hold true to this day.

2) The FBC isn't really into bar-hopping. We, most of the time, end up at A bar, to cap the night. Its a bike ride, not a pub crawl.

3) Yes, it would be "nice" of the FBC (as if Lee and Co don't already do enough with planning and spoke cards) to provide maps, but it would also be nice if they covered my beer tab or bought me a new bike. Just because its nice doesn't mean they/we should do it. The FBC is a bike ride, not a tourist group. If you don't know StL, bring your own map, don't come, find some friends who know the city, or do what most of the riders, including myself, do everyday...BIKE. Its amazing how well you can unnderstand a city when you bike through its streets every day.

4) I don't know if your point here was an observation or a complaint, but if I may quote Lee, "It's not a race, its a party". Most rides have a nice steady pace. The Tour de Missouri was this weekend if you have a need for speed. I did enjoy your poetic "A pack of knight riders, saving gas and growing in numbers. A team of travelers."...nice, I like it.

5) The next point confused me, but I'll respond. FBC isn't just rides, its full moon fiascos. Key word being full moon fiasco. If you want "just" rides, refer to my suggestion above in 3. Oddly enough, the rides this past summer in which many jerks showed up didn't even end at a bar. Come back in the coming months and the true LMFLs will be there on a Tuesday night in 10 degree weather at Off Broadway...I hear assholes don't like cold weather.

6.) Your next point was just ridiculous, sorry to say. Safety is to each and to each's own. We all have a personal responsibilty to wear or not wear a helmet, to drink or not to drink, to ride down a busy street or empty highway, and to be safe. We're not a bunch of moms, we're all adults. If somebody does heroin and rides into the Mississippi River and drowns, its not our fault, its his. Furthermore, you should never be concerned about making friends at FBC...the people are part of the reason why its so great. Annnnnnd I'm pretty sure roofies never have/never will be part of the FBC. Most people, myself including, like to be saracastic and attempt to be funny.

My guess is you're a college student who's new in town. If so, welcome from a native student...really try to explore our city if you can.
Sorry for the belabored response my friend, but I don't want you to misjudge us based on the internet/not realizing what the FBC is. Feel free to come back, but take note of what I will make you a better LMFL should you choose to be.

September 09, 2009 1:19 PM  
Anonymous fucking book club said...

it's like full moon critical mass. Maybe peeps should start the critical mass rides again if they want small rides?

September 09, 2009 6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Facebook Bike Club

September 10, 2009 12:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Faggot Barhop Club

September 10, 2009 6:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forrealimgay Bike Club

September 10, 2009 6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Far.too.much Bitching Club

September 10, 2009 7:10 AM  
Anonymous From the FBC front office said...

For all of the FBC riders out there looking to ride with a smaller group of “core” riders, I have great news for you. Before the next Full Moon Fiasco departs, there will be a selection process that is sure to eliminate the tightest of FBC assholes. Lee, Pete, and Brian will be buttfucking every in attendance before the ride. That’s right. Everyone will be required to drop their drawers while Lee, Pete, and Brian run the train on every ass in Turtle Park. But wait! This will be no ordinary buttfucking. Moments before Lee inserts himself into your rear end, he’s going to be sure to throw a handful of sand and broken glass in your ass. The abrasions caused by Lee’s violent, sandy buttfucking will set the stage for Pete’s “Tabasco Sausage Injection.” Following the path that Lee blazed moments earlier, Pete will be squirting a healthy dose of Tabasco sauce into your sandy-dick scorched ass. He will then jam his iron dick where the sun don’t shine until you’re unable to stand. And finally, there’s Brian and his infamous spear-dick. Everyone knows that Brian’s spear-dicked a coyote to death, and weak FBC riders will be sure to suffer the same fate.

When it’s all said and done, everyone that survived the FBC dick damage to their asshole will be welcome to participate in the Full Moon Fiasco (assuming they can handle the agony of sitting on a bicycle seat for ~20 miles). You have all been warned. There will be no exceptions. Only the strong survive. Take this information into consideration before arriving at Turtle Park on the 4th of October.

September 10, 2009 7:59 AM  
Anonymous Lirch said...

Lee, thanks for the blunt stop.
Big ups rudeboy!
I had fun!
I always do.
Fuck judgemental skeezy ho-bags that are better off not knowing me! (you know who you are)
And to all those guys hittin my blunt at the cemetery, you're welcome!

September 10, 2009 8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuckyour Butt Club?

September 10, 2009 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To all those guys raping graves at the cemetery, thank you.

September 10, 2009 11:44 AM  
Blogger Eugene said...

Picture links... post them.

September 10, 2009 1:06 PM  
Anonymous motorboat said...

+1 to what Eugene said. I can't believe pictures of that waitress haven't been posted yet.

September 10, 2009 1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My pee pee stings!

September 10, 2009 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 72 years old and new to the FBC - I love being under the moon at night with all you bloodsuckers - reminds me of the war years - I've got guns strapped to my ankles - and I'll be damned to find some young blood trying to shake his cock'arama at my ass! You just try you bastard!

September 10, 2009 6:14 PM  
Anonymous pat's bar and grill said...

most of you people just fucking suck.

it is now time for you to just shut up and move on.

from the fake hipster courier whose fat asses are wider than their riser bars, to the "just fuck it, i'm havin' fun" post redneck with a new over branded rob dydrek look straight from kohls.

you make the FBC nothing more than a clown convoy of fashion do not from 2001.


September 10, 2009 8:06 PM  
Anonymous Andy H (The Beaver) said...

Art Crawl tonight, Friday the 11th... let's have fun! Meet at the base of Art Hill on the road side of the fountain at 7:30... we roll before 8.

September 11, 2009 12:28 PM  
Blogger T. Eric said...

I have pix posted on my facebook (T Eric Monroe)page, I can send them to the host of the blog if you want it, let me know. I had a blast! (

September 11, 2009 3:11 PM  
Anonymous Bike Polo said...

Play Bike Polo.


2 p.m.

Lindenwood Park.

September 12, 2009 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm pumped on all these first timers saying there not coming back!

September 14, 2009 12:35 PM  
Anonymous JUSTIN said...

Yeah. whatever soon as it gets cold, ALL THESE ASSHOLES WILL BE AT HOME. NOT ON OUR BIKE RIDES.

September 18, 2009 1:48 PM  
Blogger T. Eric said...

FBC #54 Pix


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Why dont you hipsters just shut the fuck up.

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