Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fair Warning

Sunday October 4th is a full moon, and as per usual The Fucking Bike club will be going for a bike ride. You are welcome to come along, but only on one condition... Everyone who attends must ride a bike with 20" wheels or smaller. To do otherwise ensures brutal and sustained mocking for the entire night, not unlike the kind of shit talking that can usually be found in the comments section of this blog.

What's that you say? You don't have a bike with small wheels? Ask around, I'm be shocked if someone you know didn't have one you could borrow. If worse comes to worse, kids bikes only cost a few dollars at the thrift store. A few dollars is a pittance compared to the amount of fun you are gonna have on the 4th cruising the moonlight streets of St. louis with a bunch of Yahoos on kids bikes.

So join us, Sunday October 4th for Full Moon Fiasco #55: Just A Little Bike Ride. Meet at Turtle Park around 10:30 the ride leaves at 11:00pm sharp.
-Lee

p.s. If anyone knows of an organization (CAMP, Bicycle Works?) that would be interested in accepting all the unwanted kids bikes left over from Full Moon Fiasco #55: Just a Little Bike Ride, let me know and we will arrange a mass donation.

153 Comments:

Blogger Althotas said...

Holy Shit!

September 13, 2009 11:10 PM  
Anonymous nick said...

HELL YEAH!!!!

September 14, 2009 5:21 AM  
Anonymous Ben said...

"Nice 700c wheels. Compensating for something?"

September 14, 2009 6:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pizza!

September 14, 2009 11:03 AM  
Blogger barney said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

September 14, 2009 12:30 PM  
Blogger Eugene said...

I need a BMX wheelset for my sweet Dyno VFR... if you have one, let me know.

September 14, 2009 1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care how much I get made fun of, I'm totally riding my road bike with 38" wheels.

September 14, 2009 2:00 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

Barney,
Hate to break it to you but every FBC ride is filled with clapped out bikes. This ride just has small clapped out bikes.

If you do the ride on an adult bike, I am going to give you a hard time. But I'll try not to make you cry. This is supposed to be fun after all.
-Lee

September 14, 2009 2:00 PM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

A few LMFL are totally ahead of the game on this one. Where'd your pics from the party bar go? I keep doing a really bad job of explaining what the cocktail waitress's (lack of) outfit was like...I need a visual aid pronto!

September 14, 2009 3:47 PM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

given the fact that Lee already makes fun of me every sunday and wed. i would say i am pretty prepared for some todo-taunts. i am riding my bike in all of its no brakin' 700c glory! all yall newbies learn to skipstop for ya kill sombodyz.
-that is unless this is in fact the genius plan to elimate Bike Ride Weenies...then i will totally bust out my cromed out dyno for some 2 inch airs!!!!!! do you bmx kids still call them ollies?-

September 14, 2009 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Reckless Rider said...

I will cut Toph off the entire night if he brings his fixed gear.

September 14, 2009 4:48 PM  
Blogger barney said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

September 14, 2009 4:49 PM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

topher will surprise you with the amazing and awe inspiring cigarettebutt BMX-jump o' death.

September 14, 2009 4:52 PM  
Anonymous Kiddie Bike Fairy said...

There's no excuse for showing up without a kid's bike. I'm not saying all of these are good deals, but there's a bike for everyone out there if you take a minute to look:

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1374996805.html - 20’’ - $15


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1373984931.html - 20’’ - $50


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1373917467.html - 12’’ - $25


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1373970356.html - 18’’ - $35


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1372403908.html - 20’’ - $20


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1369806668.html - 20’’ - $30


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1368620119.html - 20’’ - $22


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1367311449.html - 20’’ - $35


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1367219714.html - 14’’ - $18


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1366328777.html - 16’’ - $15


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1364880906.html - 16’’ - $40


http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1346793629.html - 18’’ - $40

September 15, 2009 7:10 AM  
Anonymous Patrok said...

Lee,

So I tried out several 20" kiddie bikes and I simply don't fit on them, being that I'm 6'3" So my next question is...

How bad could the abuse from the FBC kiddie bikers really be?

For those of us who bike all over St. Louis and especially in more rural areas of MO...many of us have endured some pretty significant harrasment from motorists. I even had 2 guys in a Camero wanting to start a fight with me on a country road near Castlewood. (I was walking my bike up the shoulder and in no way impeding traffic.) I guess the sight of a bicycle is extremely offensive to some people.

Thus, I am not concerned with any verbal abuse. It would probably even be entertaining and fun!

However, if I do choose to ride a regular bike, is there anything I could do to still stay in the "spirit" of the ride?

-Patrok

p.s. Looking forward to FBC rides in extreme weather! (December?)

September 15, 2009 12:32 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

Did you ever get in touch with CAMP or Bike Works? If not, i got some numbers for you.

September 15, 2009 1:26 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

Patrok,
I'm 6'4"
-Lee

September 15, 2009 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 6'5" and riding a bike with 16" wheels.
-Suck it

September 15, 2009 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6'4''

20'' wheels

September 15, 2009 7:01 PM  
Anonymous deko said...

I'm only 6'0 but my wheels will be 14' which is 6 less than lee's and I'm breaking my streak of not attending FBC events (unrelated to drunks, jerks, uncivilized folks or anything else this blog talks about) just to show off the sweet new paint job on turk's bike.

September 15, 2009 8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am 100 feet tall and riding a bike with 1 inch wheels.

September 16, 2009 3:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am 1 million feet tall and the wheels on my bike have the diameter less than an atom.

September 16, 2009 3:23 AM  
Anonymous the earth said...

i am 41,851,049.868766 feet tall and the wheels on my bike have a diameter less than an quark.

September 16, 2009 3:31 AM  
Anonymous the universe said...

i am infinitely tall and my wheels are infinitely small.

September 16, 2009 3:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's nice to know that Earth will be attending.

September 16, 2009 5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm gonna ride a bike with really small triangle shaped wheels. hows that for old schoolz?

September 16, 2009 6:25 AM  
Anonymous the earth said...

patrok,

why would you walk your bike up a hill, do you not have a dick? if you to show up with even 21" wheels on your bike it prove your dicklessness. i suggest that you go find mike (i think we all know which mike) and hang out with him on the 4th instead.

the earth

September 16, 2009 11:10 AM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

Do you guys think any sweet recumbent bikes will make an appearance?

Or maybe one of these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP3r2L8CaB4

September 16, 2009 11:42 AM  
Anonymous Digitron said...

I am 6'6. I am the tallest human.

September 16, 2009 4:48 PM  
Anonymous Patrok said...

the earth,

You seem confused as to why I would walk my bike up a hill? I thought the answer was completely obvious. When faced with a ridiculously steep hill one has several options but I think the best thing to do is to crack open a beer, or two. Normally, riding with a beer, even while pedaling up a hill, isn't so difficult. However, this was incredibly yummy Belgian Trappist Ale and it required a cup. Obviously, I had to walk my bike up the hill so I wouldn't spill my beer. I understand why this concept would confuse the earth, since you move rather constantly without spilling (too much) all the time. But for those of us who don't have such enormous mass, certain precautions must be followed to avoid spilling the Holy beverage!

-Patrok

September 16, 2009 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that last comment proves patrok has no dick

September 16, 2009 8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

showing up in a tricycle. SUCK IT.

September 16, 2009 9:02 PM  
Anonymous Digs said...

It better have 20" wheels or smaller.

September 16, 2009 11:49 PM  
Anonymous Arthur said...

I have done 3 FBC rides so far and I have loved them all. However, October 4th is on a Sunday and I work late. So if I make to fiasco # 55 I will have to ride my road bike from Webster Groves to turtle park in under half an hour. There will be no time to switch bikes. So, this being said, I hope I make it, and I hope you guys MAKE ME CRY FOR RIDING A BIKE WITH 27 inch rims. No, pleas, rally lay into me because I love the FBC.

September 17, 2009 2:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

only people with no dicks can't ride up hill and drink. that means you partok.

September 17, 2009 8:27 AM  
Anonymous Patrok said...

Anonymous,

You have given me an idea! Why don't we have a Little contest on October 4th to see who can ride their kiddie bike up a steep hill while drinking a beer from an enormous cup?!

I'll provide the beer! I always have beer left over anyway, so I'm serious, lets do it. My money is on the earth.

Patrok

September 17, 2009 9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stop commenting Patrok you f'ing douche bag.

September 17, 2009 10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice re-direct Lee!

September 17, 2009 11:32 AM  
Anonymous bicycleworks said...

Bicyle Works (www.stlbikeworks.com) will accept any bicycle donation. Arranging a mass donation pick would be hard since we have no idea of knowing how many bikes will be donated.

to all,
bicycle works is located at 4102 Shenandoah, 2 blocks north of tower grove park. Donations can be dropped off during the open hours which are Teusday and Thursday nights between 7 and 10 PM and Saturday mornings from 10 AM to 1 PM. Donated kid's bikes go to the Earn a Bike program or they are fixed up and donated to other nonprofit youth aid organizations.

Lee,
I will find a way to get a hold of you and see if we can come up with a way to arrange a pickup of some sort.

later

September 17, 2009 11:33 AM  
Blogger Eugene said...

So I have a wheelset for my Dyno, but now I'm looking for parts for another BMX bike for my friend. I only have a frame. So if you have parts, let me know.

September 17, 2009 12:12 PM  
Blogger dgtized said...

Do both wheels have to be <20"? It would be pretty awesome if someone rode a penny-farthing with a <20" back wheel.

Course they would also probably die when someone swerved in front of them.

For that matter, can you put 14" tires on that tall bike?

September 17, 2009 12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

patrok,

i thought you couldn't ride a kiddie bike cause you got no dick.

September 17, 2009 1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow we have hit a new low, internet trash talking before a fiasco. I like it.

Patrok has not dick!

September 17, 2009 1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my little bike is ready!

September 17, 2009 3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

penny farthings?

September 18, 2009 5:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

penny farthings, bone shakers, whatever you want to call them are nowhere to be found. You might as well be talking about mounting 20" wheels on your unicorn or pegasus and riding that.
On a bright note, at the thrift store at Olive and North&South there were about seven 20 inchers. I have no idea the prices. I believe Fri and Sat is half off.
Anchovy

September 18, 2009 10:51 AM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

Ooooh! Good call on the MO council for the blind thrift store, I saw one there with tinsel streamers, among other girly sparkly features, but I bet you already snatched that one up for Adela! I think they have a "bring a buddy- get 1/2 off" day as well, or at least they used to!

September 18, 2009 12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good news everybody!! I found Patrok's dick!! Yeah, some crack head was selling it under a bridge down on 7th st. He wanted $15, I offered him $7. We couldn't come to an agreement so, alas
PATROK STILL HAS NO DICK NO DICK NO DICK NO DICK NO DICK NO DICK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK

September 19, 2009 8:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why do they call you doe hands. come meet me and soon everyone will call you goo hands!!! or mouth your pick

September 19, 2009 4:16 PM  
Anonymous Patrok said...

Awww... : )) The last time I heard such simplistic and unoriginal verbal abuse from teenagers was when I used to get destroyed playing Counterstrike Online!!!!! Its been years!

Anonymous, you are making me nostalgic!! I love it!!

I would ask you to continue, except that your pathetic attempt at shit talking might be distracting everyone from actually finding a bike for Oct. 4th.

p.s. If Lee is 6'4'' then I guess I have no excuse but to ride a 20" bike like the kind my anonymous teenage hecklers ride every day to school.

September 19, 2009 5:24 PM  
Anonymous patrok's dick said...

please do not tell patrok where i am, he beats me constantly!

September 20, 2009 1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel that patrok is not making himself look any better by commenting on this blog.

September 20, 2009 1:36 AM  
Anonymous old dickless mike said...

patrok i think we used to play counter strike together.

September 20, 2009 1:37 AM  
Anonymous no dicks anonymous said...

patrok,
we at no dicks anonymous have heard about your condition we invite you to join us at our monthly meeting. our next meeting we will be on oct. 4th at 11pm.

September 20, 2009 1:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

now that is some shit talking!

September 20, 2009 1:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Patrok's dick update. The missing member was last seen covered in red ants floating alongside a small rodent, a mini louisville slugger, a grenade pin and bloody tampons in the toilet at the atomic cowboy. It appears that the member has been removed from the host for some time. forensic test are being ran, special reporter Benjamin Speardick will have more at 11.

September 20, 2009 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Patrok said...

Those last few shit-talking comments were actually pretty fucking funny!!

September 20, 2009 8:45 AM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

If you'd said that to my face you'd more likely get a flick of the dick than an HJ!

September 20, 2009 8:47 AM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

Or I could slap you, your pick, anonymous asshole.

September 20, 2009 8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

satan said,
hey guys i heard about this bike ride and was wondering if it is okay if i come? i am 1,000 ft tall and weigh just about a million pounds. all i have is kid bikes and chrome dyno airs.

September 20, 2009 11:17 AM  
Anonymous Molly said...

maybe one of those grown adults riding big bikes can pull my ass on this.

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/bik/1382932439.html

September 20, 2009 2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey goohands, I'll let you slap me just after I'm done slappin' your chin with my schlong!

September 20, 2009 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

molly,
no one on the ride will have big bikes, this is a little bike ride. but you should definitely get the tag-a-long for next month.

September 20, 2009 3:19 PM  
Anonymous god said...

satan,

go fuck yourself.

god

September 20, 2009 3:21 PM  
Anonymous god said...

i just wanted to add ... patrok has no dick

September 20, 2009 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

patrok has a really big dick, oh wait that is just a cob of corn falling from his bloody asshole

September 20, 2009 4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah street dealers - well I've got a newsflash for ya' - I've got micro-machine wheels on my bike! Beat that!

September 21, 2009 10:57 AM  
Blogger Patton Oswalt said...

Training wheels? Training wheels anyone?

September 21, 2009 11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have found my kids bike.
i have named it "patroks dik"
since he doesnt know how to spell.
i will be riding it long and hard
all
night
long.

September 21, 2009 11:10 AM  
Anonymous Patrok (Jen) said...

We read many of the old posts from previous FBC events and determined that the Anonymous Asshole's trash talking is not all that funny by comparison. So we have decided to end this charade. We did agree that "patrok's dick update" and "no dick's anonymous" was pretty funny, and all the earlier posts about how tall everyone was with their small bikes made us laugh alot too.

"Patrok" is a nickname we created to fuck with our friend (who actually does ride the FBC sometimes.) He is tall too, maybe not 6'3" though, and we know he like Belgian beer, so we thought we would try to impersonate him using a random nickname we gave him and pretend to be really dorky but sound kind of like our friend too. Apparently it worked kinda well. We all had a laugh, although the Anonymous Asshole's sexist comments to other people was out of line.

So, Anonymous Asshole, we came clean, whats your real name? Do you really ride the FBC? (We don't)

Jen

September 21, 2009 9:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it is likely saddlebags

September 21, 2009 10:03 PM  
Anonymous brian said...

if your going to call me out you shouldn't do it anonymously.

September 21, 2009 10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i heard saddlebags has no dick

September 22, 2009 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys are out of line brian will saddle dick(s) anytime anywhere. Just ask his ma'. "he's a real love em' and leave em' type"

September 22, 2009 3:13 PM  
Anonymous brian said...

i have a dick, and it's sharp!

September 22, 2009 8:11 PM  
Anonymous mom washes my socks said...

have you heard Jen HAS a dick. She bought Patrok's dick from that bum under the bridge. Yeah, it fucked all of the funny out of her. now she is just a dried up prune of a cum bucket who can't laugh at some ignorant shit written on some bullshit blog by some anonymous sidewalk bikers. I'd rather use a krusty sock to dispose of my secret lady venom.

September 22, 2009 8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo! lets just ride some bikes huh?

September 22, 2009 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I said some comments were out of line, I never said they didn't make me or my girls laugh. I did say they weren't as funny as some earlier stuff on FBC.

I've been looking through some of your old rides and March 12, 2009 "Enough Waiting" was so funny I nearly pissed myself!! I'm talking about the DEAD COYOTE Party! The responses of the "dead animals rights" haters made this spectacle even more hilarious!! You guys need to do more stuff like that!!

Are there any other posts I should check out that are that fucking funny?!

I may not have a dick, but I will put on a strap-on to fuck Brian/saddlebags in the ass and then mouth when I visit STL sometime next year...

September 22, 2009 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Straps-ons?
Ass to mouth?

Jen is kinky.

September 23, 2009 6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b34U3-CutuU

Pedal down the foothills! Wheelies on the front!

September 23, 2009 7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fucking stellar

September 24, 2009 6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

satan said,
i have personally seen brian and his sword dick. it is actually two dicks fused together. brians own dick and patroks dick....fused together.

September 24, 2009 8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is anyone bringing a little stereo? should play that song when we ride!

September 24, 2009 10:21 AM  
Anonymous brian said...

no its not.

September 24, 2009 10:51 AM  
Anonymous Worth revisiting said...

the universe said...

i am infinitely tall and my wheels are infinitely small.

September 24, 2009 11:24 AM  
Anonymous BBQ & Movie Fan said...

May I suggest another bike trip for barbeque and a double-feature at the Belleville drive-in?

I know there was some talk about a return trip to Belleville when the weather got a bit cooler and the leaves started to fall.

September 24, 2009 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Ben said...

Apparently, Belleville's Oktoberfest is this weekend. Oktoberfest in September makes perfect sense.

September 24, 2009 3:01 PM  
Anonymous hey stupid ben said...

the real oktoberfest has always ran from mid september till the beginning of october.

September 24, 2009 3:07 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

You learn something new everyday.

September 24, 2009 3:36 PM  
Anonymous hey stupid ben said...

seems like you might need to wear a soft helmet.

September 24, 2009 10:29 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

I already have one and wear it daily.

http://www.abledata.com/product_images/images/005522.jpg

September 25, 2009 5:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brian, is gay!!!

September 28, 2009 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once I take my penis out of Brian's mouth I will ask him to confirm or deny his gayness

September 29, 2009 12:47 PM  
Anonymous the girl that turned brian gay said...

If he points to his chocolate starfish you know he is gay for sure. Can someone please buy me a bike, nothing shitty either. I want to roll around with style. Like when Brian rolls around with hundreds of latex penises that were cast from a mold of Patrok's dick. BRIAN IS SOOO GAY, PATROK CUT OFF HIS OWN DICK SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO SMELL BRAINS CUM SOAKED SPHINCTER ALL DAY

September 29, 2009 3:40 PM  
Anonymous the girl that turned brian gay said...

brian's dick not brain's dick

September 29, 2009 3:41 PM  
Anonymous Jen (and her out of state FBC fan club) said...

Don't forget about that fearsome coyote Brian raped and murdered with his speardick!!!

He can't be gay if he is manly enough to rape wild animals!

September 29, 2009 6:00 PM  
Anonymous Brian's best friend said...


What gave it away
That Brian was gay?
Was it all of the pictures
Showing him this way?

He dresses kind of funny
At times with little at all
Only a real flamer
Would wear this to the Ball


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SDXh1HueitI/AAAAAAAAAbQ/BWp4Oa1KD1k/s1600-h/FBC+Prom+08+222.jpg

What can you about such a jerk?
What in the hell was his intent?
How can anyone be so stupid?
To run right into a block of cement


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SSIfCJ-RhFI/AAAAAAAAAwA/WfheCwWb3qc/s1600-h/Fiasco+44+Grants+Trail+049.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SSIgp8-8oWI/AAAAAAAAAxI/irLaDmUixa0/s1600-h/Fiasco+44+Grants+Trail+031.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SSIdN9FeSLI/AAAAAAAAAuo/H5u43CS9GR0/s1600-h/Fiasco+44+Grants+Trail+086.jpg

One needs not be at all smart
One doesn’t need to be very wise
To know from pictures on this blog
That Brian likes hugging guys


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SgoeU-8dqHI/AAAAAAAABQU/lcvBXAa8K4Q/s1600-h/IMG_5209.JPG

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SZi7kdZmKsI/AAAAAAAABIk/muHqjTRdOcE/s1600-h/fiasco+47+032.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SWU9EbbfTNI/AAAAAAAABDo/S7xI6lcVWxE/s1600-h/FBC+Biathlon+007.jpg

Why is it so common that
In almost every one of these pics
He’s got his mouth wide open
All ready to suck dick


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/SF_vtn4CJSI/AAAAAAAAAiI/3wTpFQ1dFWU/s1600/Underwear%2BRide%2B08%2B032.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/RrZIXZ0l1FI/AAAAAAAAAMY/6tclXImEYtQ/s1600-h/Underwear+Ride+038.jpg

He’s admitted himself that his member is sharp
Perhaps it’s a needle or shaped like a dart
And although he believes he is a stud
I think he likes getting his boobies rubbed


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/RtiE2gS2TjI/AAAAAAAAAQI/LJvI7FdgKHo/s1600-h/Back+2+School+010.jpg

If one were to ask me
Yes, his neck should be rung
Because I’m not the only one
He confessed to for slinging dung


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rBoXpAysk8M/Sgoe9607dWI/AAAAAAAABQ8/fQ8wrNJhTds/s1600-h/IMG_5193.JPG

He objects others calling him out
And not signing their name
Yet he is the most prolific
At this antagonistic anonymous game


http://fuckingbikeclub.blogspot.com/2009/03/blog-post.html

Brian will probably hate this post
And will throw a hissy-fit
But that is what he deserves
Being a hypocrite

It has been interesting now that
The other foot is wearing the shoe
Brian, you fell for a trap
You are
THE fool

September 29, 2009 7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who ever took the time to do that has no dick.

September 29, 2009 10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree.

September 29, 2009 10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i do to. writing long posts is for no dicks.

September 29, 2009 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love the poem

September 30, 2009 2:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

brian probably wrote the poem. and this post. and the replies to this post.

September 30, 2009 6:30 AM  
Anonymous nathalie said...

Hola - We're possibly quite interested in receiving a bike donation - we're an enviro group on SIUE's campus...I'll have to get back to you for sure about the logistics of it all...but that would be amazing if no one else has spoken for them...

otherwise. October 24th is 350day (www.350.org). We're thinking of getting a bike ride in STL... it will be during the daylight hours and not during a full moon... but it will be incredibly kickass if we could get numbers to show up for a rally through the streets: the idea of the day is for universities across the US to make a statement about the environment all on OCt 24th: this could count.

let me know if this sounds interesting to anyone:

nathaliewoloszyn@yahoo.com
thanks!

September 30, 2009 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Brians dick turned me gay said...

Who cares about silly bike rides, has anyone heard any updates about Brian's dick?

September 30, 2009 6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your 33 Black Angels will be helping provide some electrical rock and roll entertainment for all you freewheelers...rock out!
www.y33ba.com

October 02, 2009 5:48 AM  
Blogger houvenagle said...

[SAVE THE DATE]

October 02, 2009 9:25 AM  
Anonymous Lee said...

Everyone,
I regret to inform you this Sunday's Fiasco has been postponed until next month. I've got the swine flu. Since I can't ride, nobody else can ride.

-Lee

October 02, 2009 12:21 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

I didn't say that.
-Lee

October 02, 2009 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

For a moment there, I was very upset.

I can't wait to ride my little bike Sunday night.

October 02, 2009 2:59 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

Brian thought he had swine flu, then he found out you can't get it from pig splooge.

October 02, 2009 3:41 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

if you believe the fiasco has been postponed then you would believe I won't cum in brian's mouth
-Lee

October 02, 2009 4:27 PM  
Anonymous Rodrick Weatherbee IV said...

Wait, so is the Fiasco going to happen or what? I really need to know because I am getting a sitter for my great auntie Gertrud. Somebody has to be there to wipe away her tears as she tries to push a 10lb dookey ball out of her crusted and scabbed over anal canal. Hey, doesn't the FBC go to the anal canal every spring? I like the sound of that, "Anal canal", it just rolls off the tongue. but seriously, let me know, soon.
Thanks

October 03, 2009 5:06 AM  
Blogger E.F. Shut In said...

For tonight's ride I suggest aged sheep’s milk cheeses from the Pyrenees region. which are perfect autumn selections. From the French-Spanish border comes Roncal, with a robust fall flavor that conjures images of rolling hills fortified with hay bails, and turning leaves. The nutty back end is one of the best I've tasted.

Enjoy!

October 04, 2009 7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!!! I guess i will not be going i lost my job, and don't have money to spend on any kind of bike, and don't really feel like being made fun of due to the fact i would not be on a kids bike. I was really hoping to have the best time ever tonight with all of you but i guess not.

October 04, 2009 4:43 PM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

im takin to the NEXT level tonite. thanks trent.

October 04, 2009 5:18 PM  
Anonymous Funkywumples said...

Yeah. It is a shame you did not find a bike between Sep. 13, when this ride was posted, and when you lost your job.

October 04, 2009 5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zing.

October 04, 2009 6:44 PM  
Anonymous BooHoo said...

Now that I spent $10 dollars at vincent depaul to buy a kiddie bike, I am no longer able to feed myself for a week. Thanks Fucking Bike Club...think yall can spot me some grub tonight?

October 04, 2009 6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was the worst bike ride i have ever been on. you stupid FBCer's think your so cool ridding weird bikes, but really you just give real bikers a bad name. no one was wearing lights, and most didn't even care if they were riding in the correct lane. i will never go on another FBC ride.

October 05, 2009 2:04 AM  
Blogger E.F. Shut In said...

OK, but did you try the cheese?

October 05, 2009 4:12 AM  
Anonymous DB said...

Anonymous (if that is your real name) probably doesn't like cheese either...but I tried it and it was especially delicious

October 05, 2009 7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rip fbc

October 05, 2009 9:09 AM  
Anonymous Everyone Else said...

Anonymous is crazy... and in the wrong bike club.

October 05, 2009 9:36 AM  
Anonymous 2nd That Emotion said...

The FBC Rips!

October 05, 2009 9:37 AM  
Anonymous Lee said...

Anonymous,
If that was the worst bike ride you've ever been on, please invite me along next time you go on a fun ride. I didn't know it was possible to have more fun then I had last night.

October 05, 2009 9:42 AM  
Blogger sos said...

i bitch on the internet to get things done, when something doesn't go my way i post about it in the comments section of a blog as a way of rectifying the situation, i masturbate with my own tears of sorrow and i currently hate my place in life

waaaa

October 05, 2009 10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hated that ride that. the cops who dropped me off at my house at 6am did, too. anyone seen my phone??? love julia (the only girl who plays polo)

October 05, 2009 10:49 AM  
Blogger TOPHER. said...

mr anonymous.
next full moon, stay inside you big crybabie weenie. that was the best ride in a while. thanks to Pete Henry and his prestigous facial hair, awesome shirts, and chocolate pickle cup beer.

October 05, 2009 11:51 AM  
Anonymous Bloody Spear Dick Penetrating Your Gaping Asshole said...

Little bikes.
Little spokecards.
Cooler temperatures.
Little bike wheelies.
Little bike crashes.
Indoor bike riding.
Beer spitting.

If you didn’t have fun last night, your “Fun Meter” is broken.

For our sake and yours, kill yourself immediately.

October 05, 2009 12:54 PM  
Anonymous peat said...

hey every one! my friend drew got his bag stolen last night at the very end of the party when we were all out side getting ready to leave. it is a blue ratty old bag that says roxy on it. it has a kleen kanteen and hoody in it. also my friend christine got her jacket stolen. its like a yellow plaid. if you go to the fbc bi-atholon photos i think she is wearing it for a visual. if you see anyone who is wearing it, you should cut there head off. unless its christine. if you do have the opertunity to cut there head off, try not to stain the jacket.

October 05, 2009 1:17 PM  
Blogger DoeHands said...

this is the post Peat is talking about, where Christine is wearing the yellow plaid jacket:

http://fuckingbikeclub.blogspot.com/2009/01/another-thing-we-did.html

She really loves it and it's getting cold fast, so if you see anyone wearing one, don't hesitate to ask where they got it. If they say anything other than Target last year, tackle em in the name of Christine!

October 05, 2009 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was joking about not having fun... clearly i loved the ride a little too much... but i was not kidding about my phone being lost if anyone found one.

October 05, 2009 1:42 PM  
Blogger Eugene said...

Last night was the shit

October 05, 2009 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Julia,

If you only lost your phone, you should pat yourself on the back, considering you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and fell down the stairs twice and then denied falling down at all.

October 05, 2009 1:59 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

Eugene,

Again, I'm sorry that I spilled your High Life tall boy. I'll bring you a replacement on Wednesday.

October 05, 2009 2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's not true.
(and I found my phone)

October 05, 2009 2:53 PM  
Anonymous Surrly wet drawers said...

Jesus fucking Christ, you all are so gay. woo-hoo I rode my tiny bike to a party and then drank a bunch of booze. I fell down and pissed myself, somebody stole my shit, my girlfriend wouldn't go down on me because I smelled like piss, I was late for work today, I ran out of gas, rant rant rant,
FAGGOTS

October 05, 2009 4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to think that someone was just drunk and grabbed my yellow plaid jacket by mistake....so if that is the case and you want to kindly return the jacket to me just email me at "ilikegum@gmail.com" or drop it by blueberry hill if that is easier. Thanks so much! When I told a co-worker today that my jacket was maybe stolen she said "oh man, that was the only really cute thing that you own." So help a girl out and give her back the one cute thing that she owns! Thanks, Christine

October 05, 2009 5:57 PM  
Anonymous desmond morris said...

i especially liked the part at the end of the night when we all died.

October 05, 2009 5:57 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Come have fun and not steal anyones stuff Sunday Oct 11.

October 05, 2009 7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fbc=fox broadcasting company?

October 06, 2009 12:53 PM  
Anonymous DB said...

I wonder where my lil pink bike is now. I got a flat right off of Jefferson and Cherokee and had a dead phone and wound up ditching the bike and walking 8 miles home...and I had a blast.

October 06, 2009 4:39 PM  
Anonymous mr. 12 inches said...

I should have brought a bigger bike. The ride home was longer than my seatpost. dance party + bikes = awesome!

October 06, 2009 4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the bag was not stole! it got loaded with the band stuff.

October 06, 2009 5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

photos?

October 06, 2009 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Photos from The Little Bike Ride!!

And photos from Tequila Wyld Party Bar!!

Please!!

October 07, 2009 5:50 AM  
Blogger dgtized said...

And there we go, Fiasco #55 photos.

Enjoy.

October 11, 2009 5:45 PM  
Blogger T. Eric said...

I'll post pix from 54 up on Flickr tonight or tomorrow.

October 11, 2009 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for the pics!

October 12, 2009 7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh, man. Thanks for those pictures, "Brians Best Friend." Brian's really hot.

October 14, 2009 8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A long time ago a Tantric Master named Lu the Immortal discovered a place on the body that when pressed with adequate force would manually delay ejaculation for as long as required. He ordered his disciples to guard this secret closely, and made them vow never to reveal it to any outsiders. The legend goes that around the turn of the twentieth century a wildly wealthy American, (who will go un-named) was on a journey in Western china, home of the disciples of the legendary Lu the Immortal. He had heard of their abilities, and sought to learn the ancient ways in order to improve a modern problem of his own.

October 18, 2009 1:36 PM  
Blogger T. Eric said...

FBC #54 Pix

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33608&id=1325262969&l=28d0b0bb24

Enjoy!

October 24, 2009 8:39 AM  
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